dinner tonight

We were at the store a few days ago and chuck roast was on sale.  I was feeling a little nostalgic and thinking about my mom, and I remembered that she always cooked her pot roast with Lipton onion soup mix packets.  I remember really loving that meal - the way you could shred the meat with your fork into perfect, tiny bits, the flavor of the carrots and potatoes and onions - yum.  So I bought soup mix (which has a helpful recipe on the back) and chuck roast and tossed it all in the crockpot.  I was in a huge hurry, trying to get it all going and still get Spencer to Discovery Days, so I didn't have time to dice anything.  It took me 3 minutes to get this meal going, and that included making lunch for us and singing to a grouchy baby at the same time.  I put in baby carrots and sliced portobello mushrooms, browned the meat in oil, and added the meat and water with the soup mix blended in to the crockpot.  If I had been thinking, I would have deglazed the pan with the water to get a little extra flavor, but I didn't think of it until it was too late.  Maybe next time.  I made baked potatoes and a salad to go along side.  Not earth shattering, but really tasty, and it made me think of childhood.   Also, I liked the contrast between the soft meat and veggies and the crispy baked potato shell and flaky interior.

So the chuck roast made a ton, and a day later, I made a great beef barley soup out of the leftovers.  I sauteed shallots (since I was out of onions) and celery and a bit of garlic in a little butter.  Once the shallots were translucent, I added a 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes.  I meant to add diced, but grabbed the wrong can accidentally, and once it was open, that was it!  I added a few cups of water to thin it out and then diced and added some of the leftover meat, all the leftover juices, and the leftover mushrooms.  I sliced the leftover baby carrots in half and added a little rosemary and shook in some quick cooking barley.  Then I let the whole thing cook while I made cheddar biscuits and butterscotch pudding.  Both of those recipes were from the old Betty Crocker cookbook that my mom used when I was little, and that I enjoyed a lot of experimenting with in my early teen years.  I served it with a salad and everyone was pretty happy with it.  My husband thinks I can only cook from a recipe - but he is wrong!

I saved a fair amount of the leftover roast, and tonight, we will have basil blue cheese stroganoff.  I haven't tried this one before, but I love stroganoff and basil and blue cheese and beef  are delicious together, so hopefully it will be great.  I am trying to use the things we have instead of heading to the store whenever I am out of something (because at the store, I inevitably find a LOT more to buy than just, say, mushrooms and egg noodles, which is what I need for dinner tonight).  So I will use the dehydrated mushrooms I keep in the fridge for emergency substitution, and I think we will probably have our dinner over rice instead of noodles, and it should all be good.  I am going to just use our basic stroganoff recipe, which isn't written down - basically onions (or shallots, since I am still out of onions) and garlic sauteed with mushroom, and then a little beef broth (or rehydrating liquid from the mushrooms) to catch all the fond on the bottom of the pan, and then sour cream, thinned to taste.  Maybe some spinach added, or not.

I find I am always intrigued by those leftover chain meals, where one meal begets the next in a long string of meals, and I am pleased to have come up with my own.  (I think the chain will probably stop here, though.)  I think the combo of winter and still feeling pretty sad has left me craving comfort food, and all of these meals are high on my comfort list.

I get to S's bedtime feeling completely drained now; all the testing just sucks the energy out of me.  He is so sweet and so good with his brother and so loving - and then, unpredictably, so naughty and frustrating and rude.  Typical little boy behavior, I am sure.  He tries hard.  I found this post to be helpful in trying to change my own reactions to his "typical" behavior, and though I won't say today went perfectly, or even necessarily well, it had a lot of really nice moments.

happiness

One thing I loved about the Happiness Project was the author's advice to "be Gretchen."  That is, she identified the things that were truly fun for her, and stuck to them.  There are so many things that sound fun but are not really fun, or would be super fun for someone else, and it is easy to talk ourselves into participating in all kinds of potentially fun activities that we really are secretly dreading.

My son's 4th birthday is on Sunday, and he has requested a firefighter birthday party (again - same party theme as last year).  But this year, he wants a green fire truck party - as in, full of green fire trucks,  Smokey Bear, and dalmatians.  This is definitely more fun to plan than another red truck birthday, but I have gone overboard.  We have rented a space.  Invited (and had invitations accepted) for 40 kids and their assorted adults, which means I am suddenly planning a party for 80.  (We had 30 at our wedding, including all of our available family members.)  While I am thrilled to see so  many of our friends, and excited that so many have said yes to spending an afternoon with us, I am truly apprehensive about what I have done.  My poor husband is doing an amazing job of not strangling me, but I am continually startled by it all.  Favors for 12 are pretty different from favors for 40.  Have you seen what hot dogs for 80 people look like?  Now I have! 

Don't get me wrong.  Not only have I made this choice, all by myself - I am really excited for it all.  I think it will be a blast, and I think everyone will probably have a good time.  And if they don't - well, it's a 4 year old party, capped off with a visit to a fire station.  How bad can it really be?  But as I try to figure out the food, decorations, favors, cake, entertainment, etc. - I am feeling kind of overwhelmed.  But also really excited.  So...is this kind of thing something I love?  I have to admit that I am really looking forward to Monday, with no more planning hanging over my head.  And yet, I am also finding myself plotting a really fun (family only) Valentine's Day...  I think one clue to figuring out what we really enjoy is finding what we spend a lot of time on.  I love reading and researching things.  I love putting together something unique and interesting and unusual. It makes me feel happy and proud. Whatever my good intentions, I find it very hard to limit my internet time - and now that I have found pinterest...  And you can see that reflected in my home, which is full of good intentions and not enough follow through.  I am trying hard to change that.

But first - to get through the good intention birthday party.

Red Balloon

We had movie night tonight.  We do that randomly - no specific set night for movie night or game night - just whenever Spencer thinks to ask for one.  Tonight, we watched the Red Balloon, which is a classic from 1956.  I wouldn't have thought of this one as being appropriate or interesting for his age, but he was enthralled.  I read the suggestion in a parenting list online (sorry, can't find the link - maybe on parenting.com or babble.com?).  Watching a nearly wordless movie together, in which the only words are in (subtitled) French, was a really nice experience.  We talked about what was happening, and I prepped him for the idea that all balloons pop someday.  Movie night can easily become "Mommy and Daddy enjoy computer time while Spencer zones out to a show next to us on the couch" night, and that is a lot less family friendly.  So this was really nice, and I would recommend it.

When trying to choose movies for our family, we often rely on www.commonsensemedia.org .  This time, Red Balloon was rated for 7-year-olds, and it honestly might be boring for older kids, but for younger kids who might find the idea of a sentient balloon to be fun, or the idea of hide-and-seek with a balloon to be interesting, it was great.  I'd recommend watching it with some pain au chocolat, since the little boy eats one during the show.  All in all, a really nice time. 

We have had a difficult time lately.  Spence has been exploring some new territory, some of which has been frustrating for me.  We have welcomed our new baby boy to the household.  And I have discovered that I am truly battling postpartum depression, and I have not been handling it very well.  My most effective tool lately has been to act As If, and when I start to feel myself getting ready to boil over with rage, I can hear a little voice in my head hollering, "as if! as if! make good choices!"  Which is what I tell my son all the time - are the choices that you are making bringing you happiness? 

As If means act as though things are already fantastic.  Act as if my son is the most delightful boy I have ever gotten to spend time with.  Act as if I am deeply in love with my adoring husband.  Act as if I have had enough sleep.  Act as if I am not depressed and in fact feel wonderful about myself.  Act as if I am a beautiful woman who has already achieved my weight loss and fitness goals.  It works astoundingly well.  I am not aspiring to all of those things; they are already here.  Life is wonderful!  Etc.  And suddenly, I cannot yell at my son - I would never talk to the most delightful child ever like that.  And it is not a battle over what delicious but not great snack to have - at my tiniest, I never thought of not snacking on fruits and veggies - at least not if I wanted to stay thin.  When I was physically fit, it was nothing to go for a walk, or a hike, or whatever else people wanted to do - it was fun, instead of a big ordeal.  As if is powerful stuff.